Percocet. Precocious. Phantasmagorial. Palliative.
All of the above. I can see how quixotic this relationship can be. On the one hand; pain relief. On the other; dreamscaping. Perfect for sleep.
I feel as though I’ve gone, breakneck speed, through the last week. I hit the wall on Tuesday and refocused. The problem with tearing three ligaments is not being able to walk without aid of a walking stick and the brilliant polymer brace. There is also the issue being able to stand for any length of time without shooting pain up the thigh and down the shin and calf muscles.
The massage guy helps. He showed me how to realign the knee to stop the pain but assured me that I will have to continuously realign the knee because it will not stabilize in it’s current condition.
Looks like surgery will be the only way to relieve this problem. Oh joy.
It’s been two months and not much in the way of relief. Surgery will be a blessing. At least I will be able to heal. Eventually.
So, the refocusing (where was I?) is profound. I mentioned not being able to walk. What happens to your body when you can’t move? Guess. *snort*
You get, shall I say, podgy. I hit the wall Tuesday (…am I repeating myself…?) and subscribed to an online Atkins protocol and ordered all the attendant food for the week. SuperNurse has decided to support this little venture and will follow the diet, too. Thank goodness. I spend so much time with SuperNurse, what with doctor and massage and physio appointments, we are constantly flying by the seat of our pants with regard to "…What are we going to do about dinner/lunch/breakfast…" that without her cooperation it would likely be difficult to make a go of it.
It’s been good. I’ve lost five pounds in five days. I can feel the difference in my state of mind.
I may not be able to move but I can ensure I don’t become an inert blobicle. I’ll be svelte instead. Not a racy kinda svelte. Can’t move much. More like stylin’ in my polymer accoutrement.
Book club tonight. Beauty was there. It’s ridiculous how much I love and miss my oldest and most cherished friend. How I long for our old connection. I wasn’t expecting her to be there and so, needless to say, it was a bit of a surprise. My grief. It’s like a hole in my heart that I can’t help continuously probing, "If only I was more [insert attribute here] then our friendship would not have come to this awful place." I wish I knew what to do. But I’m stupid. Clearly.